Musings

Had a bit of another aha this morning. The universe has probably arranged for me to not be working so I can spend time with Raini before she goes. The thought came up when I heard her throw up for the third time in two hours this morning. I got up, put my sweats on and plugged her in. She didn't struggle, as if she understood she needed the fluids to keep going. I'll give her the last of the bag later, just to make sure.

It's a different way of looking at my current circumstances. Doesn't put any money in the checking account. It does take a bit of the pressure off, that there's another reason for this time.

Went to the vet to pay off a bill from the last time we were in. They didn't fight me on getting another bag of lactated ringer for her. They understood my reluctance to bring her in if I could avoid it, as I'm one of many of their clients that is now out of work.

From there, went up to Fare for All, picked up the regular pack and a few extras. I almost started crying as I walked out of there, because it was the deprivation, the sheer feeling of lack overwhelmed me. A chunk of it was my own, some of it was the families around me coming in. Thankfully the place is open every Monday, so other than milk and bananas, I'll probably do most of my grocery shopping there.

From there, went to Walmart, got the yarn and a few other groceries. Stopped at the bank to deposit a check I found while cleaning from 5 years ago. I had loaned some friends some money so they wouldn't lose their house, and they gave me an undated check for $100. The account was still open, so I cashed it.

I'm slowly coming to realize my fear of lack is what is bringing more of it into my life. So I turned the lamp back on in my wealth corner. I am changing my attitude and facing my fear. Someone at some company out there needs my skills and wants to put me to work. I just need to attract them into my life.

Cleaning continues at a slower pace. The worst of the head and chest congestion are done. Whether they will flare or not when I move to the next area is debatable, see what happens.

I think I will spend the rest of the day putting the afghan together. The squares are now finished, just need to crochet them together and put the edging on. I'll post a pix when it's completed.