Pre-cogs and such

Once in a while my precognative abilities will kick in and work, usually in the form of a dream that seems to be too real. While I'm in it, I know it's a pre-cog. Only rarely do I ever get audio pre-cogs, with a date. Those I don't always trust, because the dates have come and gone with nothing happening.

I'm hoping the latest audio is a non-event as well. A couple days ago while I was holding Raini, I got a very clear 'June second' in response to a not-even-fully-formed thought about Raini's passing. I blew it off then, however her behavior the last 48 hours has me wondering, and trying not to create a self-fulfilling prophesy.

Raini has gotten very skittish, that she even runs away from me, and howls to get down if I pick her up. That's not my girl, even with her hyperthyroidism in gear. I'm just about out of her ResThyro meds, so at this point I'm hesitant to order any until after Tuesday.

The other thing that has me wondering is the appearance of a stray in my backyard.

This pretty little girl showed up yesterday afternoon twice. She's affectionate and friendly, and her front paws are declawed. She was yowling and kept looking around, which made me wonder if she was left behind when someone moved out. That was the impression I got, or that she's in heat.

She showed up again tonight, that's when I got the photo of her. I posted it here in my building, see if anyone knows about her.

The timing of her showing up... I have to wonder if the Universe is trying to tell me something.
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Still plowing through Good Calories, Bad Calories. It's a dense read, given all the science - or lack thereof - he's writing about. I'm just getting into his arguments about why high protein and high fat diets help people lose weight and not be hungry while they are at it.

The more I read, the more it makes sense to me. The sugar cravings are my body's out of whack need to maintain what it thinks is a good balance. The more I read, the more I know it's not. For me, I need to up the protein and fats. Looks like I need to add coconut oil to protein shakes as well as the coconut milk and the whole milk. Another protein shake may be necessary in the afternoon as well.

A better summary when I finish and have a chance to let the book perk through my brain.
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I'll let you know how things go with Raini. This time feels different, from previous times when I wasn't sure if she'd make it or not. All I can do is support her and ask the archangels to make her transition an easy one.

Yeah...

The weeks blend together, not much difference between them, even if this one was shorter than the rest.

I'm finally getting near to being done with transferring the SMS data into my licensing spreadsheet. Given how Excel numbers things, it started with 100,000, worked its way through the 300k, then dropped back to 50,000. Argh.

Once I'm done with that, then I can go through and de-dupe, do the v-lookup against the SMS report so we know who gets it removed no questions, then we can do the other stuff.

My walks continue. I took the time to re-count the carpet squares, cause I realized at one point it couldn't be just 500 feet around the perimeter when it's over 700 feet just around the inner core. Turns out the building is 390' x 114', at least on the inside. That makes my laps 1,000 feet, so 12 laps comes up to just over 2.25 miles a work day that I'm walking. That doesn't include my mini-laps around the core when my Gruve goes off every 40 minutes.

Now I just need to conquer the sugar cravings.

My books finally came in, so I'm reading through Good Calories, Bad Calories by Gary Taubes. His premise, given how far I've gotten in the book, is that the whole low-fat, high-carb diet was based on really shoddy science and never backed up by the standard scientific method of testing the hypothesis. His reference list is pretty much the back 1/4 of the book. It's been interesting so far. I want to get into his recommendations going forward. If I keep reading at the rate I am, I'll have most of it wrapped up by tomorrow night.

Cleaning the garage, etc.

I'm really glad this is a three day weekend. I need another day to sleep and catch up.

The new diet is already starting to pay off. I dropped three pounds from the last time I weighed myself, which was the last time I donated platelets. I've also let go of two inches on my waist. I'm on the right track.

Now I just need to overcome the carb cravings. It really hit this weekend, since I now can't have potatoes that's all I want. Go figure. Keep eating and drinking the protein, keep the carbs low, take the digestive enzyme I found to help it all work through, and I'll be fine.

It also helps when I get my butt out and moving. I started on the garage today, so here are the before pictures.



As you can see in the bottom picture, that's the side where the former resident used to have his auto repair business. He took most of it with him, but left me the bench and some other crap behind. I put the bench on a cart I have from the D clan and piled it up with stuff to haul to the garbage. Swept up as good as I could.

Then I started going through my side of the garage. One of the bins was from when I had my Blazer, which held my emergency supplies, like oil, biodegradable degreaser, clevis hitch, tow strap, etc. All stuff I can still use in Taez (if I can ever get his hitch out of the receiver). I got about eight feet into my side of things before my back started hollering at me to stop. I'll pick up where I left off tomorrow, see how far I get.
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I do need to still be careful with my back. Turns out the pain from the drive out to see my cousins was the muscles that run next to the spine going into spasm. It kicked up again on Friday, and riding Chael to see Dr. R didn't help any. Soon as Dr. R touched my back, he told me it was in spasm and went for the stim pads.

While the stim pads were on, I had another emotional release. Couldn't tell you what it was about, just that I was panting heavily - laying down - while it moved out of me.

The spasms were bad enough that they were messing with my right hip and my feet. Fascia is such a wonderful thing - yank one area out of whack and the whole goes out of whack.

I knew last Thursday, when I went to see Dr. M, that I would need to see Dr. R this time. Good thing I did, cause I know Dr. M would not have thought to put me on the stim. I have to trust my gut when it comes to who to see when.
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Got an interesting call yesterday. One of the area's most well known animal communicators (she advertises the most), called me. She knows my Quantum Touch instructor, and had asked her to give a 40 minute talk on QT and how it relates to animals. My instructor isn't available that weekend, but recommended giving me a call to see if I was available.

The animal communicator got on the QT website and read my bio. She recognized my photo from the Meta Institute, where I got my Certified Therapeutic Coaching certificate. She called me, we chatted for about 15 minutes, and I have a speaking engagement to prepare for on July 12. Sweet!

I've had some ideas already floating through my head, so I'll start putting things down and go from there. Who knows, I may even have a couple classes come together from this. That would be nice.

Integrative medicine

At the medical device company I'm working for, they have their own scientific conferences and what they call a technical forum. The forum is a series of groups that works on various things that pique their interest.

The technical forum recently started a chapter on integrative medicine, and had their first open meeting on Tuesday. It was in my building, so I went to see the presentation. They had a psychologist who treats chronic pain as their guest, explaining what integrative medicine is and why the company should be thinking about it.

I knew the doctor got it when I saw a quote from "What the Bleep."

When I got back to my desk, I signed up to join the chapter. Given that I do integrative health practices by combining massage, therapeutic coaching and energy work, I'm already a step ahead of them. It will be interesting to see how open they are to my viewpoint.

Life continues with the same old, same old. I'm looking forward to this being a three day weekend. I need to clean out the garage so it can be shared starting July 1 (grrrrr). Clean up the oil spill, figure out what to do with all the stuff that's out there, haul out the work bench the former occupant so nicely left behind. Joy. It will give me a good shot at hitting my green goal for the Gruve.

Perhaps I'll post some before and after pictures as I work on the garage. Like I did last fall as I was cleaning up the house.

Body is getting used to the new diet. I need to look for a digestive enzyme that is for high protein diets. I think I may have found one, need to look at it closer. Perhaps a trip to Whole Foods is in order, or one of the other co-ops in the area.

The new shoes are such a difference from my New Balance. Lighter, cushier. If my back is behaving, I can walk faster. Going down stairs - such a difference between thud and squish. Easier on the knees, too.

Now if they just made a difference going up the stairs...

Saturday

So, I went to see my nutritionist yesterday. What she told me seems counter intuitive, yet given what I know does make sense.

She told me to add some more fat to my diet.

What???

In the past two years since I saw her last, more and more research has come out about the various kinds of fat and how our body best works with food. One of the books she pointed me at is Good Calories, Bad Calories by Gary Taubes. He's a science journalist by training, so he documented everything he could find on nutrition. Given that I am carb sensitive, it makes sense to add more fat to my diet, in the form of coconut milk and oil and move up to whole milk.

If this isn't making sense to you, stop and think about the Eskimos. Until recently, all they survived on was seals and whales, their meat and blubber. There were NO carbs in their diets, since it's a little hard to grow plants when you live in the Arctic Circle. They survived just fine for centuries with just those food sources.

Go back in time to our early ancestors, the hunter-gatherers. They survived primarily on animal protein and did just fine - we're still here.

So, given that thinking, I need to change some things around. Breakfast will continue to be my breakfast shake, with roughly 40 grams of whey and milk protein, whole milk, blueberries, coconut oil, XPC, flax seed and cinnamon. Morning snack will be chocolate whey protein with either whole milk or water and coconut oil. Lunch can continue to be my soup with beans, but add an ounce or two of animal protein like meat or hard boiled eggs to help the body assimilate the beans. Mid afternoon snack will be yogurt with my walnuts. Supper can be a salad with slow cooked meat or a bean salad with eggs.

She also gave me more recipes and ideas as well. Time to start incorporating what she's taught me from before into this new knowledge and see where it takes me.

You may also be questioning the coconut oil, since it's a saturated fat. The key is that it's a medium chain triglyceride, which means the body uses it as an energy source and doesn't store it as fat. It's also an anti-viral and anti-fungal, so if there's anything lurking in my body, that will help clean it out.

I suspect the pounds will start dropping quite easily now. I've got the book on order, along with Neale Donald Walsh's 'When Everything Changes, Change Everything'. Once I get both and PhotoRead them, I'll give you a review of each.

From there I headed to Marathon Sports to get new shoes. They confirmed I have a high, rigid arch, so I need shoes that cushion and flex with my step. I tried on 10 pairs of shoes, finally settling on a pair of Nikes. With my company discount, they came to $104. I will be keeping my eyes open for sales and discount locations, so I can get another pair or two. This pair will stay at work - I'll change into them when I get to work so I don't have to think about it, then change before I come home.

So that was my day yesterday. Today I've got a cheap roast in the crock pot with some salsa for my nightly protein. Beans are soaking to be cooked later. I'll soon get the clothes sorted and ready to wash, and then I'll start on doing some work to make up for my hours on Friday.

Saturday

Don't know about the rest of you, but this week flew for me. Despite the boredom, it went quickly.

Bored I have been at work. Same routine day in, day out. I'm getting predictable, and that's not a good thing. Magnatune has been helping me keep my senses somewhat in tact with different music.

I did break the routine a bit yesterday. Some of the cousins on the Swennes and Myhre side got together out in Spicer, so I took a half day off and went. I haven't seen some of these people since I was little, like 30 some years ago. A couple of my closer cousins I saw a year ago at one of their daughter's wedding.

It was interesting to be with people who know at least one side of the family's roots. Most of the conversations revolved around health issues, as most of the cousins are in their late 50's and 60's. Diabetes, Alzheimer's, other things that weren't diagnosed between 1930-1980 that make a difference now. Foreshadows to our own mortality.

Then again, when you've walked up to Death's door and begged to be let in twice, it doesn't scare you anymore.
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The company I'm working for sponsors a local marathon, and a couple hundred people run the 10 mile and full marathons each year. As such, one of the local running shops gives those of us who have badges a 20% discount at their store.

I learned this watching an internal broadcast about running shoes and apparel. They also understand walkers, which is a good thing for me. The new shoes I bought two months ago have already supinated (rolled out) to the point I need new walking shoes. After I visit my nutritionist to get some ideas on how to get more veggie protein into my diet, I'll go to the running store to get new shoes.

Once I get home, I need to do some work. Since I took the afternoon off yesterday, I need to do some work from home to make up for it. I did remember to download the spreadsheets to my USB drive, so I don't have to try and download those over the VPN. I'll put the spreadsheets on the Mac, connect the VPN to the laptop so I can get to the two internal websites, and put in 5-6 hours tomorrow.
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I'm noticing I'm not as tired lately. I'm thinking the CoQ10 and another supplement I got are starting to work. I know CoQ10 helps with the ATP and Krebs energy cycles. Anything to not be falling flat on my face over the weekend.

So, soon time to head out the door. Got a few things to pull together and away I go.

Brain run amok

Brain's a bit scattered today, trying to think some things through in between being busy.

Busy as in doing four loads of laundry, hitting the farmers market for grass fed hamburger and salad greens, Target, the grocery store, making yogurt, doing umpteen sink fulls of dishes and more. That was just yesterday. Today I cleaned some carpet spots, diced yams and beets for roasting, fried down hamburger for me and chicken for Raini, donated platelets and found the electrical adapter for my CD player. The day's not over yet, either.

Been having some strange dreams lately. There was a guy in high school, Tim, that I had a big crush on. Compared to some of the others, he treated me pretty gently. This was the second time in the last couple weeks I've dreamed about him. Not sure what's up with that, if my non-conscious mind is working through some stuff or if it's bleedthrough from a parallel universe. Or if it's because someone I've been flirting with is named Tim and that's enough resonance to surface the first one.

Tim the first I haven't seen or heard anything of since our 15th class reunion in 2000. At that point he was married with a little girl that was 3-4 years old. He didn't seem happy or comfortable that night. Not many of us were.

As for the Tim that I'm now flirting with, that's all I can do. He's the phlebotomist that gets to stick me with needles when I donate platelets, like I did today. I'm sure the Red Cross has ethics guidelines like my therapeutic coaching and massage certificates do - at least two years after I stop being a client before anything else can happen. So I give him crap about stuff, he makes cracks about my motorcycle, we chat about different stuff, and I get to sit still and watch and listen until the machine has pulled out the platelets it needs. Then I'm off until another three weeks passes.

As I was meditating this morning, the thought passed through my head - does love have to be hard work? You hear the various relationship experts stating that love is hard work, you've got to constantly work at it.

According to whom does it have to be hard? What causes me to need to follow that paradigm that being in a relationship can be hard work?

I choose to change that paradigm, that being in a loving relationship can be easy, joy-full, fun, play-full, open, easy and simple to communicate. The circumstances and situations around us might be difficult, what's between us can be easy.

Yes, I realize, I'm not in a relationship, and it's been decades since I've been in one. I get the sense that by setting that as an intention, it's something to set up from the beginning. Time will tell if anyone will have the guts to play with me and find out.
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As for me being tired, Dr. M thinks it has to do in part with the frequency of my platelet donations. He thinks it's taking too much out of me to be donating every three weeks. Makes my bone marrow work too hard to pump out that many platelets and plasma in such a short time. See what happens, if I'm as tired this round as I have been previously.

Off to my post donation nap.

Education...

It doth appear that I've got me some educating to do with our remote sites at work.

Why? My boss and I talked to one of our island sites today. As far as they were aware of, if a piece of software had been packaged for delivery by SMS, they had a site license and anyone could use it without buying a license.

It took everything I had not to groan out loud when I heard that statement. It seems that very few of the remote sites outside the US have ANY type of licensing procedures or track them. They don't seem to have read the current policy and procedures on how to buy software, so they're just getting quotes locally.

I fired off an email to our software vendor and asked them to get me the names and contact info for their sales staff at all our remote locations. I want to know if they've tried to make contact, if there have been problems in the past, the whole nine yards. See what the vendor comes up with, then start making introductions and making sure the remote sites are aware they need to buy software only from this vendor.

I'm about a third of the way through my 15k+ line licensing spreadsheet. I'm comparing it to a record from the purchasing application to see if I can match up more licenses to names. I also got my hands on an inactive directory list, so I know who's left the company and what their last cost center was, so open licensed can go in the right cost center.

I will admit that there are days when this job does get boring. Same stuff, different day, at least I think it's a different day. Not sure anymore, cause the days blend together.

Finally bought an exercise ball to use as a chair for work. Inflated it most of the way Tuesday night, finished it at lunch. The boys couldn't figure out what the pump sound was, so I had a chance to explain why I was using the ball as a chair.

Good thing, too, because my green goal jumped up to 1,265 calories yesterday. The 20 minutes I spent on the ball today showed up in the minute by minute summary. My wiggling around spent between .4 and 1 calorie a minute. Not so easy on the back, which is still complaining about it, but good for the burn.

Think I'll go to bed early tonight. I'm tired - gotta talk to Dr. M about that tomorrow night. I thought exercising was supposed to give you more energy, not make you more tired.

When you get a chance, go here and take a listen - I think you'll like it. Thanks for the link, P.

Ahh...

It's nice to be able to breath through my nose again. The phytogen is working.

I'm thinking I'm going to contact the nutritionist I was working with a couple years ago. See what she has for ideas on getting complete protein into me veggie wise. I know I could really up the protein with whey powder and meat, both of which are not budget friendly. I'm thinking I need to boost to at least 200 grams a day, possibly 300-400, depending on where the tipping point is that my body starts letting the weight go.

If that seems like a lot of protein, it is. On a 2500 calorie diet, 200 grams is 800 calories, which is a third of the day's calories, 300 would be 1200, or about half. If that's what I need to do to drop the weight, I'm willing to go there.
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The critters have been put up on the shelf. I did that during a short break last Thursday as I was trying to download stuff over the VPN so I could work from home. The dresser is cleaned off, just the red cloth over the mirror. Above my bed are two rose quartz angels and two small rose quartz hearts, along with some pink tulle and ribbon. That's about as romantic as I can be at the moment. I could move my romance vision board to that shelf as well.
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I have to come up with some type of sleeve for the mane when I'm riding Chael. I'm tired of my hair being a tangled mess after being tucked in the jacket, whether it's braided or just in a ponytail. I may have to butcher up some bandanas to see what I can come up with. Or a modified do-rag that has an extra long tail and ties that I can cover and wrap the ponytail with. More patterns to go searching for.

Sniff...

To say that I am not fond of spring allergies would be a major understatement.

Since Tuesday I have fought with a stuffed up nose that backs up into my eyes and ears. I feel miserable and so far nothing much is making a difference. I tried the neti pot to wash out the pollen - doesn't work so well when the water can't get through. I gave up on drugs because they quit working years ago. Last night Dr. M put me on phytogen, so we'll see if that dries things up.

Thinking of fun, try a flat back tire on Taez. Somewhere Wednesday night he picked up a nail that flattened the tire, so I'm taking him in at noon to get the tire fixed. While we're at it, finally fix the flippin' power steering high pressure line as well. Then I can start cleaning up the garage, which we have to start sharing on July 1.

While I was seeing Dr. M last night, I asked him about what's not causing me to drop the weight. I'm up to 1200 calories a day above resting metabolic rate, so the weight should be dropping. Yet I continue to bounce back and forth 5 pounds. He tested me and came back that I'm carb sensitive. That means my body doesn't know what to do with carbs, especially fruit sugars, rice, pasta, bread, etc. I already don't eat much pasta, no bread, rice it's been a while on. My body does know how to use protein, so I need to up that.

So the next research project is to figure out how to get more protein in my body without breaking the bank. That means figuring out veggie protein, which combinations of beans, rice, amaranth, quinoa, etc will get me the biggest protein bang for the buck. There will still be beef, bison and chicken in the diet as well, cause I don't do well without meat.

Good news is, the farmers market opens next Saturday, so I'll be making a trip.