Protection

Tuesday was a tough day for me. Summer solstice, acupuncture appointment and tai chi. Add to that constant thoughts of my parents not protecting me from stuff, and yeah, long day.

What I came to realize was that the people responsible for protecting me from harm, my parents, siblings, aunts and uncles and other relatives, were in fact the ones causing the most harm. Abuse came from all angles and in all shapes and forms. Some of the worst of it came before I could even recognize it for being abuse, let alone do anything to stop it from happening.

Here's the kicker. Now that I'm into tai chi and bagua flow and really need my hips and back to be loose and fluid so I can fight effectively, the abuse has my hips, hamstrings and feet so tight I can't move correctly. I literally need to physically stretch and emotionally release what is stuck in those areas so I can move again.

I'm starting to see how blessed I am that the Boy's dad agreed to take me on as a student. There are a couple reasons. One is that he's been a professional fighter, so he know not only tai chi and tae kwon do, but boxing and street fighting as well. Tonight we worked on basic boxing skills, like how to stand, where to put my hands, how to throw a jab and a reverse punch, how to put my entire body into it. Another is that he was a cop and bodyguard, and even now in his 70's still takes on personal protection jobs. He's teaching me the absolute basics, and I'm already making the ties back to tai chi.

Most importantly, he's willing to teach me the things, both directly and indirectly that my parents couldn't, wouldn't, or didn't even know how to teach me. Those are the most valuable things.

Meanwhile, I'm exhausted. I was sweating up a storm while trying to get my body to correctly throw those punches. I rode Chael out, so I'm also chilled from the ride. Add in using muscles I haven't used in a while and ouch. The electric mattress pad is on so I can climb into a nice warm bed for a good nights sleep.

Changes

We're in the middle of two solar and one lunar eclipses, and boy does it show.

Communications are up all over the place. Friday I was reading Carole Hyder's book "Conversations with Your Home" and clearly heard my condo start talking to me. We finally settled on a name - Abundant Amore. I've been trying to name this place for years and nothing stuck. Abundant Amore seems to fit, the place likes it, good enough for me.

Yesterday the cable was on the fritz. The sound came through just fine, and it wasn't the TV's fault, there was just periods when no picture came through. Finally got online with a cable rep and they reset the cable box so the picture came through.

Still not much on the job front. Ran out of state benefits so now I'm on tier one of the federal benefits.

Crocheting up a storm in between. I've finished 5 baby blankets, four washcloths, and a scarf for Project Warm Hearts. I finished Thing 1's graduation afghan and started Thing 2's afghan. I'm also working on a light weight cardigan for myself - something I can put on over a tank top or t-shirt and have it be classy enough for a business casual or dress environment.

I also cut my hair the middle of May. Big deal, you say? It is when the tail is 16" from the nape of your neck to the end of the tail. I've had it long for years, and have been threatening for the last two to cut it off. After bringing Chael home from storage this spring, I made up my mind. It took me 15 minutes and lots of detangler to get the knots out, and that was that.
Here are the before and after shots.



Cats are still working out their issues. Discovered on a really stormy day that Charmin was afraid of lightening storms. The pictures she shared with me were that she was dropped off at the shelter on a stormy day, and it was still storming when they took her kittens. So we did some tapping on that during the storm to lessen her fear. It seems to have worked.
I've also discovered Charmin is hard of hearing in one ear and has limited sight in one eye. That's why she likes things to move slowly, so she can keep track of them. When Kona gets a bug up her butt and tears around the house at top speed, Charmin is startled cause she doesn't see/hear her coming, so she strikes out.

I'm looking at adding another martial art to my tool box. BaguaFlow is another of the three internal martial arts, tai chi being another, and I'm not remembering the third at the moment. It's being taught by a gal who learned it to help her with her skydiving acrobatics.
I'm interested in it for the energy flow and bo staff. I've been to her intro workshop and one class. I can feel the energy flow in her class, unlike tai chi where there isn't any flow, yet. I also wanted the bo staff work, as I've been attracted to staff work for years, along with sais.
We worked with the bo yesterday. The instructor was amazed at how fast I picked up the mechanics. What I need to work on is the whole body integration - that when one body part moves the whole body moves. Stretching is another, to get my hamstrings and hips opened up so they can move smoothly and freely along with the rest of me.
Thankfully her classes are not that expensive - $12 a week. I'll probably only go every other week for a while, see what happens.

Meanwhile, keep the faith that whatever is happening is supposed to and will resolve itself in it's time.