Protection

Tuesday was a tough day for me. Summer solstice, acupuncture appointment and tai chi. Add to that constant thoughts of my parents not protecting me from stuff, and yeah, long day.

What I came to realize was that the people responsible for protecting me from harm, my parents, siblings, aunts and uncles and other relatives, were in fact the ones causing the most harm. Abuse came from all angles and in all shapes and forms. Some of the worst of it came before I could even recognize it for being abuse, let alone do anything to stop it from happening.

Here's the kicker. Now that I'm into tai chi and bagua flow and really need my hips and back to be loose and fluid so I can fight effectively, the abuse has my hips, hamstrings and feet so tight I can't move correctly. I literally need to physically stretch and emotionally release what is stuck in those areas so I can move again.

I'm starting to see how blessed I am that the Boy's dad agreed to take me on as a student. There are a couple reasons. One is that he's been a professional fighter, so he know not only tai chi and tae kwon do, but boxing and street fighting as well. Tonight we worked on basic boxing skills, like how to stand, where to put my hands, how to throw a jab and a reverse punch, how to put my entire body into it. Another is that he was a cop and bodyguard, and even now in his 70's still takes on personal protection jobs. He's teaching me the absolute basics, and I'm already making the ties back to tai chi.

Most importantly, he's willing to teach me the things, both directly and indirectly that my parents couldn't, wouldn't, or didn't even know how to teach me. Those are the most valuable things.

Meanwhile, I'm exhausted. I was sweating up a storm while trying to get my body to correctly throw those punches. I rode Chael out, so I'm also chilled from the ride. Add in using muscles I haven't used in a while and ouch. The electric mattress pad is on so I can climb into a nice warm bed for a good nights sleep.