Values and beliefs

I recently took a class on the Structure of Personality. We went over what makes a resilient person, how you can become more resilient, how I as a therapeutic coach can help my clients become more resilient.

We also went over some of the 'dis-orders' that are prevalent in current society. Anxiety, avoidance, depression, histronics, narcissism, obsessive-compulsive. How are these 'dis-orders' provoked in a person, how do you help them get out of it? How do you teach them to help themselves in the future?

Now, I write dis-order with a hyphen to emphasize a point. The language we use shapes how we see the world. If you consider something as a disorder, to me, you are choosing to limit how you respond to that word. If you change the word, you change the meaning.

What does all this have to do with values and beliefs? Our values and beliefs are what drives our behavior on both a conscious and unconscious level. We learn our values and beliefs throughout our lives, yet we're not always aware of what we take in or how it can affect our behavior. Both are context driven.

So what's the definition of values and beliefs? Beliefs are opinions about what is true. Values are opinions about what is important.

Given those definitions, take a look at what you value and believe. What do you value in your relationships? At work, at home, friends, family. Do you see an overlap in the various areas of your life that you can consider life values and beliefs?

What is causing this to come up at this time? For me, when a life change event happens, it's a perfect time to review what I value and believe. I've got a bit of time to make lists, if I find conflicts I can work them out. I know what I don't want, what do I want?

That's what was driving my values list in my first post. Obviously, those values were not being met in my last job, because in part I didn't realize they were things I valued in a job. One of the things my instructor said during the class is that before you go into a job or a long term relationship, list out everything you value. Then you can be conscious about what values you choose to honor, or not. If you choose not to honor that value, you are consciously aware it.
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You'll find through these posts that I think. A lot. I've been told that I think too much, that I live in my head and not my body. I sometimes think I don't think enough.

Maybe it's not so much that I don't think enough, it's that my observations don't always connect with what's going on. I miss the subtle hints and clues. So I need to work on my powers of observation, making connections of the hints given to me.