I'm here

Been a bit quiet lately, cause frankly there ain't been much to tell you about.

Today's been a long day. Raini scared me this morning because she wouldn't even look at her food. It was in the back of my head most of the day that I would be coming home to find her gone. I was happily surprised to see her waiting at the patio door for me.

I know the day is coming, just a matter of when. If it's possible, she's lost more muscle mass, as I can feel the notches on her vertebra. Reminds me of how Mom felt so frail the last time I saw her before she died.

Suppose it's time to start looking up pet cremation and how much that will cost me. I might even call the crematorium at Echo and see if they do pets, might be cheaper to run out there and do it. One thing at a time.

Then there are the options of things to do with the ashes. There's the LifeGem, which takes the ashes and turns them into a fake diamond. Spendy, out of my budget at the moment. Then there's Memory Glass, which is another way to encapsulate the ashes. A bit more affordable, just not yet.

For now, just cherish the fact she's still here and breathing.
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New year means the start of a new series of meditation CD's. A change in levels surfaces new things to work through. Lots of the past coming up. Dreaming of my parents in situations that would not have happened in 'real life' - nothing bad happening, just them very much out of character. Working in Mounds View and taking Central up, I pass twice a day by a restaurant where a former friend and I had lunch one of the last times while we were still talking. I wonder if he's grown up, now that he's officially in his 30's, or if his Gemini ways are still tearing him apart.

Loss seems to be a current theme. Have I let go of too much, or do I have that much and more to still let go of? My own duality in question.
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I fell off the exercise routine when I started cleaning house, haven't gotten back on now that I'm back at work.

With that in mind, at work there was a presentation today by Muve Inc. They are doing a pilot study of 50 people with the company for a year to see how well the Gruve Solution works for getting people moving more.

Most of the room signed up for the study, and we were the first building to have a meeting. The chances of me being chosen are slim. However, they are making the program available to those not chosen for $290. You get the tracking device that is programmed specifically to you, the coaching and daily feedback, etc.

It's a year long commitment to helping me help myself. The device gives you instant feedback as to where you are at in reaching your daily movement goals. There's a website that helps you track what's going on. I'm thinking, either way, I'm doing this.

The answer to the meaning of life is 42, according to the computer at the end of the universe. Guess what, I turn 42 this year. Make this the turn around point.