Fit to print?

Not in my current state of mind. Or not-mind, depending.

I am exhausted. I am physically worn out and emotionally ready to burst into tears at the drop of a hat. Not sure what's driving me this direction. Is it the physical therapy, making body parts move that haven't in a long time and have old stuff stuck in them? Is it the weight loss dredging stuff out of my fat cells and trying to slow me down? Am I sitting in the wrong direction at work, since the exhaustion started this week? Or did Photoreading take so much out of me that I didn't have time to recover from?

It's even shown up in my Gruve. I've missed green every day but Wednesday since Saturday. A couple days it was only by 20-50 calories. Because Muve hasn't finished the Mac application yet, I have no way of knowing how close I am to hitting green.

In whatever the cause may be, a couple nights of good sleep should help. I intend the cats to be quiet and peaceful the next three nights, so I can recover and still get all the stuff I need to do done.

The only thing planned for tomorrow is a bike maintenance class. It's being held at the Fridley Hitching Post, so I can learn how to change Chael's oil and filter and get him ready for summer myself. I'm not willing to pay $80 if I can do it myself for a whole lot less.
Thinking of which, I need to find his maintenance manual and Photoread that tonight. I can use the class tomorrow as an activation. Photoflipping the other books I've got on motorcycle riding would be good, too. Get my head back in the riding mindset. Put the head on swivel, senses on high, watch out for the idiots out there and go.
Riding Chael to and from work will save on the gas, too. At current prices, it's $6-7 to fill his tank to go 130-140 miles. To do that in Taez would take at least $20 in gas. I'm looking forward to filling up Taez once every 2-3 weeks and Chael every 3-4 days.

P called me tonight while I was waiting for Dr. M to get to me. In her aurvaydic(?sp?) class, her teacher spoke on how she overcame her loneliness while learning. She massaged herself with oil before taking a shower. The idea behind it is that being touched all over, even if by your own hands, stimulates the body into not feeling so alone and touch deprived.

For me, I like being alone. I get enough of people at work every day. There are days I wonder how I would adjust to having someone in my life full time, because I've been alone for 21 years. Now, if there had been someone in my life for any length of time, then I can see where the touch deprivation would be a huge thing and need replacing.
Maybe I'm denying something I'm not aware of needing. Something to contemplate in my dreams and meditation.

More tomorrow between naps and such.