Randomness, again

What can I say, mind's all over the place. Blame it on being so deep in Excel all day long that my sub- and unconscious minds have too much time to play.

The data just keep coming. I do believe we're about to get all the data from Microsoft that purchasing got last week. My boss had to get the director involved in order to get purchasing to cough up the spreadsheets.

The director wants really high level, how much is this really going to cost us numbers as soon as possible. That's a little hard to do when you don't have everything you need to give him a clear picture. No matter what we do, it's gonna cost somewhere between $5-10 million to get everyone up to 2007 so we can roll to Vista. If we roll to Vista.

I did sit down with one of the infrastructure guys to put together an Access database. Good thing he knows how to put tables together, because I would not have come up with what he did in less than two hours. Right now, the interface is pretty ugly. However, once I get all the user info put in to the spreadsheet, I can re-configure the spreadsheet to literally cut and paste right into Access. Voila! Instant database.

Now, can I get this going to extend my contract until they have Infra up and running in two years, or to get hired on permanently at a decent wage? I'm putting that intention out there.
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Interesting things have come up in meditation the last couple days. One was a conversation with Mother Earth about letting go of all the crap I have stored up about a certain person. Mother Earth asked me to describe what I felt and thought about the person, and adjectives like black, tar, poisonous, sticky, oily, etc. came up. It tied back to that until I let go of that kind of stuff, my body won't let go of the weight. The weight dilutes the toxins. Let go of the toxins, there's no reason for the weight to stay.

I figuratively threw up the vile bitterness about that person. By the time I was done, it was an oil tank full - like the ones you see on refinery sites. I suspect this is the first of a few of this type of a purge.

The other thing that came up was about money. How does it feel in my body, emotionally, at different amounts of income. Making what I make now feels like poverty, barely making it from paycheck to paycheck. I doubled what my current take home is, let that settle in, noticed how it felt, thought about what I could do with that kind of money. I was up around $400k by the time my CD finished.

It was expansive, to play with that kind of income. What could I do with $5, 10, 20k a month after tax income? What options opened up, who could I help, what difference could I make? I need to play with that more, to see where I become uncomfortable with a large excess of cash. Then I know where my sweet zone is, what I feel comfortable with for an income and shoot for that.