Brain fried

Brain fried was a common term used when I was in therapeutic coaching class. When you're cramming a whole lotta change work in a short time, the brain's neurons can handle only so much before they figuratively fry.

My brain's feeling a bit mushy right now. Between really concentrating on stuff at work and trying to get my body to heal, I feel like I don't have a whole lot of energy left over for me. Just not in a good space right now.

Lots of little things eating at me. Things are going to be really tight the next two weeks financially so I can get the mortgage paid. I paid the association at the beginning of the month to keep them from sending it off to the lawyers, again. That meant I would be behind on the mortgage. Not a big deal, until I screwed something up and pretty much lost an entire paycheck to overdraft fees. If I hadn't screwed that up, I'd be fine, but I did, so here I sit in this pickle.

It's my own damn fault and I'm not about to ask anyone to help bail me out of it. Still, it wears on me.

Brain fried also equals tired. I tried to sleep in this morning, which Raini was not having. When I wasn't out of bed by 5 she came and hollered at me. I tried to go back to sleep, no luck, so I finally got up and meditated and did fall back to sleep.

Dr. M wanted me to start wearing a mouth guard at night to help with the clenching. I finally made time to get one yesterday before I saw him. I fitted it last night and wore it all night and while I was meditating. Too soon to say if it will make any difference.

I wonder how much of this sudden tiredness has to do with the work Dr. M is doing on my low back. Both Tuesday and last night he got both sides of my lumbar spine to release, loudly. I suspect that's loosening up some things I haven't dealt with in a while. Joy.

Raini is also worrying me. When I got home she was in the living room trying to pee with nothing coming out. She didn't want to eat the food I put out, although she did take a couple licks of the honey walnut cream cheese I was having for supper. She did drink and it stayed down.

It's hard, watching her slowly go like this. It would be easier on me if she went quickly. Testing my patience and nerves is never a good idea. When she chooses to go is her choice. All I can do is support her the best I can until then.