Challenges

Challenges... It's a word the boy is not fond of (understatement), but it describes where I'm at for this moment.

The people in charge of keeping track of contractors like me are telling my boss I've reached my two years as of August 27 and will not allow her to extend me beyond that date. Doesn't matter that losing me now would be one of the biggest disasters for the program, I'm at two years and need to take a 60 day break.

The only way around it is to get me hired. The VP that my boss needs to talk to isn't back in the office until Monday, so she needs to get on his schedule. She needs to convince him that in order to continue taking IT asset management forward and bring this company into the 21st century they need two people hired now. If she goes after two and gets one, it's me. If she gets both, yeah, we get more accomplished.

My boss has talked to this VP previously about setting up ITAM and funding it. He bought into the idea and approved it at the beginning of the fiscal year. We were waiting on the finance director to get over her need for details and approve it as well to go forward with it. She's been stalling over the last couple weeks.

One obstacle in the path: supposedly IT is $2 million over budget right now. Frankly, IT is going to be even more over budget as Win7 rolls out. Technically, hiring me is not in the budget, even though I've already paid not only for the last 83 weeks of employment, I've paid for a couple years worth. What I'm doing ties right in to bringing Win7 in, locking down the environment, locking down what applications are used, keeping the software companies off our case by being properly licensed from the get-go.

Another obstacle is me. Taking the Gamma class reminded me that I have a lot of core beliefs I need to work through. Beliefs about my worthiness, being love-able, abundance, etc.

When I was out and about on Saturday, I picked up Colin Tipping's Radical Forgiveness. It was a book Dr. Corey and others in the class recommended. Started reading it tonight and am in about 4 chapters. I can see why they so highly recommend it.
The question is, can I work through it fast enough to apply it to this situation? Can I bring peace to myself enough to let this job manifest and happen because I do so deserve it and can continue to make a contribution?

My boss wants me to book extra hours the next couple weeks so I can stay until September 3. That gives me time to pull things together in case we can get another temp in to cover for me until I can come back the end of October.

I am eligible for unemployment this time. It's been over two years since the other job fiasco, so that's cool. I'm looking at getting my writing business up and running to supplement the income as well.

I have faith that this will work out. Somehow, some way, this will work out.

The only question is, do I tell the boy or not? Maybe leave him a letter with instructions to not open it until Christmas - by then we'll know for sure. I feel like I need to let him know the blessings and lessons I've learned from him, with him, the gifts he's unknowingly given me. I've got a couple weeks - and with a little luck that's a letter I won't have to write at all.