where'd October go?

Time seems to be moving faster the older I get. Wasn't yesterday September?

Where am I at, what am I up to? Well, still playing with the shadow work. I finally sat down yesterday between doing laundry and making yogurt and watched The Shadow Effect. It's a good documentary on the current state of affairs from both a personal and world perspective.

The second disc was what I was really after. The second disc is all of what's on the first. The bonus is that she stops at different places and asks some pretty thought provoking questions. I'm not all the way through the second disc yet, it takes some time to think about what she's asking and writing it all down.

A couple places made me cry. The one that physically hurt the worst was the forgiveness section. My eyes were fine before and after I cried, but during that segment my tears hurt my eyes. Leaves me wondering how toxic those tears were, given how I reacted and how bad they hurt.

My buttons have been pushed a lot in the last two weeks. We're getting closer to removing Project and Visio and are still hammering things out as we go. One of the issues has been getting me a specific bucket set up for software licensing. One gal is holding up the process, really defending her territory. In doing so she's managed to push my buttons on anger, fear and a couple others. I've had to do other things in order to give my mind a break, then go back to figuring out what was causing those buttons to react. Once I figured it out, I could do the things she needed done so her territory would be kept safe.

I sat down with P a couple weeks ago to figure some things out. The story kept circling around until the noose was set and either I said it or else. The good part is, I don't remember much of what I said, other than doing a conversion of the steel suit of armor to the super spider silk that can stop 4 mm rounds. Trade the weight that doesn't do much for me for something more fitting and flexible and can still protect me.

Then, of course, I get woke up with nightmares of my voice being ripped out of my throat. In the dream someone put a black bag over my head, so I tried to scream. Nothing came out. In the back of my head I heard something about light, so I cranked up the inner light in my belly and expanded that to drive back the darkness. That was a sure sign the house shields needed to be reinforced/replaced.

Time change still has both Shadow and I out of whack. Shad wanted breakfast at 4:30 this morning and would not shut up about it. I held her off until 5. We'll have to work towards 5:30 breakfast for her, only in four months we'll be back to this schedule. Bah.

So, that's what I've been up to. Crochet a bit. Read through the latest Kris Longknife book, twice. Read another book in another series. Figure out what's going on in my head and body. That's enough to keep me busy and out of trouble.