MIA

Missing In Action.

Yeah, that about sums it up.

Missing out on the action in my own life.

Life still sucks. I miss Raini. I miss my meditation buddy. I miss hearing her purr and feeling the vibration. I miss her begging for people food and cleaning up my plate after I'd eaten supper. I miss her quiet lap time with me, where we'd just hang out and read or watch TV. I miss having her tucked in between my arm and my body as I go to sleep.

What really sucks is some days it feels like she was never here at all. Just a figment of my imagination. Those days I hate, because I feel like I'm forgetting her already, and it hasn't been three weeks yet.

Yet life goes on. Or not.

I suspect the season of funerals has begun. I've been through this twice before, when many people chose that time to pass back to spirit because they couldn't deal with the changes in the energy. The famous people that have passed in the last couple weeks, Raini, a co-worker's mother, now JD's dad.

It's been a while since the last funeral I attended. That would have been my aunt Bernice a couple years ago. Monday I'm taking Chael up to St. Cloud to be there for J & A and the kids. They have their entire family, his sisters and all of their relatives. Still, it's nice to see a friendly face in the crowd. That I can tell you from experience.

I suppose it's time to get my life back on track, stop being a victim and move on with things. Tell the saboteur and her gremlins to get out of my head and go make someone else's life hell. I created my way into this, I can create my way out of it.

I will make a pit stop to watch Torchwood and Primeval, though, along with Eureka. Gotta have a few distractions to let my head pull abstract stuff together.